How are we to measure “the complete” woman-ness of ourselves?  I ask because over the years the ideals and metrics by which we measure ourselves have risen and in some standards lowered much like our ever-changing hemlines. I ask because over the years the role models and those we emulate change as well. And that can be a good thing.

And talking about role models……..Melania, what were you thinking when you took off to visit the devastated people in Houston; the people who watched their homes being destroyed and have tasted fear? The people who shed tears as they waded away from a lifetime of treasures, pets, lives. What were you thinking daintily prancing out to make this visit in your fine stilettos? What were you thinking as you hid beneath the brim of your cap, eyes lowered so you didn’t have to make eye contact as you handed meals out to people who are strangely fragile and strong at the same time?

Melania, it’s time to step up (and around “you know who”) and become a role model and not simply an adornment; eye candy, to put it bluntly. It’s time to smile without it being so evident that you have to think of the steps: pull muscles from corners of mouth up, lips open over teeth. And yes, I know that the magic fountain of youth injections make that a challenge, but you need to smile so it doesn’t look like a grimace making us all feel sorry for you being there. Like the smile/grimace I imagine when you see “you know who” coming at you in his tighty-whities, hair gleaming in the reflection of the gold toilet in the en suite, teeth shining as he smiles thinking about the huge size of his………crowd. Yeah, don’t smile at us like that. Don’t give us that smile.

Maybe if “you know who” isn’t looking you can review some videos of your predecessor  who while being professional was able to be silly, while being supportive was able to share sorrow with empathy and delight with genuine laughter. It’s ok if you want to learn from her; we did. We’ll support you and even help you. You have an amazing opportunity to make a difference for women and we want you to but you need to step up.  Now, not later.

As I checked the new hot water tank installation in our home, I noticed that my nail polish matched the tank and I laughed and said “wow, now I’m a complete woman to be so together as to match my hot water tank!”  See, Melania, it’s ok to be silly and laugh or to show empathy and cry.  It’s not always about stilettos and $51,000 jackets. It’s about being real. Climb down from your tower once in awhile and allow yourself to be real.  It will serve us all well.