oh those duck lips….

……an adventure in cosmetic tourism.


Well, it was only cosmetic tourism due to my accident. A freak accident….(aren’t ALL accidents freaks?) put me in ranks of those travelling far and wide returning with altered appearances.

So here’s the thing; people do fall flat on their faces.  Nope, it’s not just a saying, and I proved it.  It’s the quick pop up, hands groping, feeling the damage that’s the realization of “F*@K, I’ve really done it this time”. Chips of tooth, too much blood were all I had to go by since I was alone,  there were no streetlights, it was dark and I was eight blocks from my hotel.

And here’s the other thing…..what the hell is wrong with people who walked around me like I had the ability to part the seas on the sidewalk; who didn’t miss a step getting to where ever they were going?  The only person who asked if I was ok was a homeless guy who said ” hey lady, are you ok?” and offered to share his grubby little roach which he told me was from really good weed and would help with the pain.  I thanked him, said no, and trundled on to my hotel.

Cosmetic tourism probably has a certain panache with hotels catering to clients and so forth. Picture me trying to get through the lobby up to my room with a bloody kleenex over my face – not even sure what people saw when they looked at me. I was a freak!

Shout out to Scripps Mercy Hospital in San Diego.  Although three hours in the emergency waiting room was oddly reminiscent of the famous Star Wars bar scene, the care was awesome. A little plastic surgery putting me back together and I was good to go albeit with a sewn-up, swelled-up lip accessorized by a healthy dash of road rash on my chin and nose to complete the look.

Here’s my question to Angelina, Julia, all those gorgeous sexy ladies with duck lips……when will mine turn sexy? The look just isn’t working for me yet…….





4 thoughts on “oh those duck lips….

  1. raymasson says:

    Hey! Long time no read. Happy to see your fingers back on the keyboard… albeit under regrettable circumstances. I hope you heal smooth. Teeth okay? I’ve been pretty lucky in that department. Survived hockey, lacrosse, rugby and motorcycles with no major damage. Still got all my teeth (except the wise ones, I guess I should have kept those) even though they’re just held together by caps and fillings. I was lucky to survive the old days of hockey when there was just a layer of fibreglass between the puck and your modelling career. A teammate of mine wasn’t so lucky. He needed surgery for a shattered cheekbone. I did accumulate 12 stitches in my scalp from the various times I almost ducked. Now, the head gear is so sophisticated, it hardly hurts at all, except if you turn your head and get it in the side of the mask. I do remember the fat lip experience, but I can’t recall any details from the long gone inventory of bad happenstance. Hey, maybe Kim could give you some advice… she’s made millions off of making the most of things that are garishly bigger than normal!

    Sent from my iPhone



    • Hello friend! Yes have been on hiatus working on other things like short stories. It’s funny you remind me of your hockey experiences since I told the doctor I wished I could tell a good story like having a hockey injury. One thing about you and me…..it’s called resilience. Keeps us going and keeps us young!


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