This time of year picking up toilet paper and milk at the store pretty much assures a trunk full of plants too. We are manic with our spring-time planting and rightly so. Continue reading
9 people, 6 days, a tribe and a mug
9 people in a room for six days. Like really, really in a room. Not leaving. And days are 12-14 hours long. That’s what it means to work for our election as an officer facilitating advanced voting opportunities for the masses.
I don’t care who you are, it still takes a big inhale and twinge of expectation and anticipation mixed up with the tiny insecurities we all pack around when you commit to in this case, 6 days of intense group dynamics. Continue reading
Peggy’s house
I played at Peggy’s house most of the time, or any other neighbour’s house for that matter. I’m trying hard to think of my friends playing at my house and I can’t remember that. It was only my brother, sister and I at our house but we had the run of the Woodlawn neighbourhood that we rode our bikes through as if it was our world. And it was. We would meet up “in the field by Peanut Butter Hill” the dip that bucked us off our bikes regularly and we would ride through the scotch broom listening to the snap and pop of the seed pods spitting at us. Continue reading
lessons learned from BookCrossing
The delight in finding. The delight in setting free. It was all there in BookCrossing. With ebooks and the convenience of reading everything on a screen I pack around, I’ve lost some of the “bookness” of a book. Continue reading
mother’s day redemption – a story
The three make an unlikely group. The couple, two men who have lived together as lovers for over 20 years, and the child.
The trendy reservation – only restaurant and eclectic menu suit the couple well as they playfully debate which wine will accent the meal so carefully negotiated and ordered. The child doesn’t know if she can eat at all. She’s quiet, softly petting the tablecloth, the silky lines in the linen, as she listens to their conversation. Not contributing to the festive occasion. She is, as they say, expecting. Pregnant. A bad girl. A shame, and tonight she will have her baby. Continue reading
cruising with the sunroof open
Hey Mom…………
Yes, Jasmine?
How about we go cruising with the sunroof open and sniff the spring time air?
Well, yes……let’s!!
Oh yeah!!!! What a day we’re having, just me and Mom driving in the sunshine!
the weight of your vote
I admit that I have been totally engrossed with first the campaign, then the election and now the first 100 fumbling days of politics south of our border. You can’t make that stuff up. Continue reading
potato soup
The smell of potato soup wafts up from the stove as I hold the seven week old baby girl tucked to my chest, rocking back and forth to try to get her to stop crying. And shivering. She is shivering. With my free arm, I stir and stir and stir the soup with the big broken metal spoon that I found in the cutlery drawer with a few stray spoons and forks and crumbs. The spoon grates against the pot with each pass through the thin soup. I can’t let it burn; it’s all there is to eat in the house.
I hadn’t thought of the family for years but they came rushing back to me with all the desperation and fear and hopelessness from so long ago. With a thick, creamy soup simmering on my stove; bacon, onions, potatoes, rich and creamy, I caught a memory as I lifted the lid to check and stir. Continue reading
lazy Saturday
Well, not exactly lazy. It seems the Protestant work ethic instilled by step-mom kicks in subconsciously and I can’t relax until the housework is done, the laundry put away and dinner, if not started, at least planned.
After our walk around the neighbourhood, Jasmine and I doze and read my book, and doze some more. Foggy waking up in the quiet afternoon. Lazy Saturday.
perspective
I remember a conversation with a friend when I said “I just don’t know where I fit” and the response was “well, right here. That’s where”. This past few months since leaving the teams I was working with, it’s been a bit of a stress and pressure and an overwhelming feeling that I have to find a new “fit”.
Any time there’s a big change we struggle to find a place that doesn’t bind or pinch or slosh around like an overfilled wading pool. Maybe the fit is in our perspective of our here and now. Maybe it’s ok to step back and change perspective.
A walk in the Ancient Forest near my house is healing and inspiring. Offering a note to be taken that today is a tiny piece of everything; that it’s ok to just breathe and be.
blue sky through the burn
We went for a drive on the weekend and ended up driving through acres and acres of forest that had burned two years ago. It was so stark; almost a shock to drive through beautiful evergreen forest and suddenly be in a landscaped transformed by wildfire.
This time of year can be stark here in any case as the grasses and bushes are still winter worn and dry, and the willows are just beginning to show little fuzzies of impending spring. It’s a time of frost coming out of the ground, mud, rushing creeks and sunshine warming us up in a hurry.
As we drove through the burn, looking at the extent and almost painfulness of it, we marvelled at the unexplained randomness of a tall green tree in the middle of the burned patches, and I noticed the blazing blue sky above.
The blue of the sky brought the beauty and the deep-breath feeling that the clear Canadian sky still brings to me even after seeing it for years. The sky that in a strange way provides a grounding to me. I remember the first time I saw the bluest sky I could imagine and I marvelled at the absolute clarity of it – and I still do as I look out my window.
In the quiet time driving, my thoughts turned to a friend of mine who just last week held her Dad’s hand as he took his last breath and passed away. She had lost him before that though as he fell into the depths of dementia. As she talked about this, and posted a picture of her with her Dad, I was reminded painfully of losing my Dad much the same way and of a picture I have of Dad and I mirroring hers. Dementia and Alzheimer’s are insidious like a slow burn as we watch our loved one slip into that unstoppable inferno.
It was quite awhile before I could look through the pain and see the beauty and the memories and take a full deep breath knowing that there is blue sky after the burn but it did happen. I wish this for you, Kim.
flashback to danger and monsters
A year ago I was with one of my team members and we were headed onto a property to do some work there. I stopped at the chain barrier and read all the signs and then checked my records and didn’t see any record of “big stuff” down the driveway. More of a socialization issue, or lack thereof.
Nevertheless, we are raised to respect signs and as I stood there contemplating the varied and proliferate signs of danger, out of nowhere a big friendly doggo ran up to me and plunked himself down in front of me waiting to be adored.
It always helps to have an escort through the times of danger and monsters – like the one who found me.
dreamingofsquirrels 
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